Cambodia....ugh

We woke early and caught our boat taxi to the mainland where we met our motorbike taxis that took us to the bank. For some reason my card wouldn't work but thankfully Will was a nice enough cousin to let me borrow a large sum of money from him so that I didn't have to stay behind and go all the way back to Pakse. Border crossing days are always a total pain and you feel like you are spending lots of money on a whole lot of nothing. The Laos-Cambodia border crossing was no exception especially since we were crossing at an unofficial crossing which means the officers there can charge you random fees and there is nothing you can do about it. For example we got slapped with some random "stamping fee" before even leaving Laos. Then as we crossed into Cambodia we were stopped at a small tent that had a big sign reading "quarantine" where we had our temperatures taken and then had to pay yet another fee. The last random fee came as we purchased our visas which are supposed to be 20 USD. However, we got hit with the "Monday Fee" meaning we had to pay an extra 3 USD because it was a Monday (are you shitting me?) Sounded a bit ridiculous to us and all the others but there isn't much you can do about it.

At this point Will and I headed in separate directions because Will was off to Siem Reap to see Angkor Wat (I had seen this last year on my trip with Ned so I opted to do something different) while I headed to Ban Lung in Northeastern Cambodia. So this blog will be about my adventures getting to and from Ban Lung and Will will give you some info about his trip as well.

Things got off to a bad start right away for me in Cambodia. While waiting for my bus out to Ban Lung I got scammed into buying an overpriced return ticket (as I found out later) from BL to Phnom Penh (where Will and I would be meeting back up in a few days). I was told that there were no direct buses from BL to PP in one day and that I would have to spend a night in another city between the two. This was semi believable considering BL is out in the middle of nowhere. The guy (who I had been playing cards with for the past hour) told me that he could help me out and could arrange for me to make the journey all in one day. I went against my better judgement and bought the ticket from him right then and there and also booked a night at his friends guesthouse in BL because I would be arriving late and didn't want to wander looking for a place to stay.
The bus ride was only about 5 hours long but it was by far the worst I have had on this trip so far. The bus pulled up and I instantly knew it was going to be anything but a comfortable ride. The best way to describe the bus is simply by saying it was a "very,very local bus." Not only were all the seats full but the isle was also full of people sitting on the floor. To make the trip even worse after 10 minutes of driving the pavement ended and the rest of the way was extremely bumpy and dusty roads. The dust was so thick in the air of the bus that I had to tie a t-shirt around my face just to breath. After about 20 minutes my entire body was also covered in a thick layer of the red dust. Needless to say after the 5 hours I was more than ready to get out of the bus and was extremely happy with my decision to book a place to stay ahead of time. I was met by a guy with a "Mr. Rooney" sign and he took me right to the guest house which was very nice (one of the old Governors houses). That night I didn't do a much - just got some dinner and chatted with some other travelers staying there then called it a night.

I woke up the next morning and had a plan. I went to BL because it is known for its beautiful waterfalls and an impressive crater lake. I decided not to take a guided tour but to rent a motorbike instead and do it myself (which the Lonely Planet specifically warns not to do because they said it was very easy to get lost and see nothing). But I went for it anyways because it was about half the price and it is always more fun to do things like this on your own. I rented a motorbike from some guy rather than from a company because he was at my guesthouse and it was cheaper (but the bike was a piece). I got a basic map that had the sights I wanted to see on it and headed off towards the first waterfall. Naturally I ended up getting extremely lost because the map was awful. So for about an hour or so I road around trying to find this waterfall and kept stopping to ask people where it was but this was a joke because no one speaks English and I speak zero Khmer. To make things even more difficult all the roads were thick gravel which made driving very slow. At one point I was coming down a big hill and tried to stop to ask some guy where I was and as I did so the bike totally went out from under me and I went flying down the gravel hill for a good distance before coming to a stop (Mom I was totally okay and was wearing my helmet like a good boy). The bike received some damage but nothing too bad considering it was already fairly beat up.

After this tough start the rest of the afternoon went fairly well. I ended up getting my directions figured out and made it to all 3 major waterfalls and the crater lake. I spent the late afternoon swimming at the lake and just relaxing there. I headed back to my guesthouse around 5 because that is when I needed to have the motorbike back by. Of course as soon as I pulled up the guy noticed that I had crashed his bike. He was very nice about it and didn't make me pay hardly anything for the damage. What he did request however was that I take him out for a drink that night at a bar as payment because he wanted a chance to practice his English. I thought this sounded like a great idea and was happy to do this as a "sorry for messing up your bike" rather than having to pay an arm and a leg to have it fixed (as most places make you do). So later that night he returned and picked me up and we headed into town (which is not much of a town at all) for a drink. What I didn't realize when I agreed to this deal was that the idea of a bar in this town is nothing like the my idea of what a bar is. The first place we pulled up to was dark and had florescent lights blaring and also had about 15 skimpily dressed girls standing outside. I immediately asked him if we could find another place where we could just hang out and have a drink and he agreed and we were off to the next place. Our second stop was almost identical to the first except there were about twice as many girls awaiting our arrival. Again I tried explaining my idea of a bar to him and he seemed to get it this time. When we arrived at our third stop I realized that all the bars in this town were the same and that they all came with a large flock of "working women" as I will call them. Feeling obligated to come through on our agreement (after all I did crash his motorbike and this was the payment) I said the place looked fine and agreed to go in with him. As it turned out there was no bar at this place at all but instead it was made up of individual rooms with big couches and karaoke systems. We were escorted into such a room and about 15 girls followed us in. I was so embarrassed and awkward I could hardly look up at them as he selected which ones he wanted to stay and join us for the evening. Once he had made his selection the others left and the karaoke began. After about 10 minutes the girl who was seated next to me got the point that I wasn't interested in the whole situation so she left (not too happy). So for the next hour and fifty minutes I sat there with this guy and his girl listening to really loud and bad Cambodian karaoke songs. Let's just say that when our time was up I practically ran out of the place (but of course I had to pay and the total was a bit more than the drink I was expected to buy this guy). A bit scarred I returned to my guesthouse and went to sleep very ready to leave BL the next morning on my early bus to PP.

But the adventures continued the next morning. As I was leaving the guesthouse I discovered that ONE of my sandals had been taken (you have to leave your shoes and sandals at the entrance) so I was left with only my left sandal. Pissed, I found a right sandal that fit me and took that and then headed for my bus. This is where the real fun began. When I handed them my ticket (which remember I had payed almost twice the actual price for) they told me that it was not a real ticket rendering it useless. This was the straw that broke the camels back and I started to get a bit heated with the bus guy which is something I never do. After many phone calls and me refusing to believe that the bus was full as they were saying it was I finally was able to convince them to let me on and to give me an actual ticket free of charge. Stressed but relieved I took my seat on the bus and spent the next 12 hours calming down in the hot, dusty, cramped, and uncomfortable local bus that brought me all the way to Phnom Penh. As I said..not the best start to Cambodia.

-RBC